Confusion Rains

I'm so confused right now that it's sending my emotions into a bit of whirl wind. I'm trying to stay focus and grounded and I'm doing okay but if I stop and think about life...I start to get scared.

I have a lot of stuff on my mind...friends, family, new friends, new dating interests, and a giant move. I know that it's God's will and I'm suppose to be doing this right now I just need to take a step back and make sure that I'm putting all my faith in him and letting him do what's right. When you try to take control yourself, things get all messed up.

It's just hard. I want to spend time with Elisha, Stacey and Nicole but they have a lot going on and I'm worried about leaving in eight days with little time with them. Then, there's my family who I haven't gone to Woodland to visit in a month, Yikes! Then there's Brad...which I don't know what I'm doing there since I barely know the guy and I have to take off. I hate to see him fade into the background. My apartment is nearly packed, I'm almost done...it's just a matter of moving everything now.

Bate, Hook and...

I just finished cleaning my apartment, there is someone coming to look at it. I'm hoping he likes it, I need to feel okay about abandoning this place :) hahaha...
I'm tired, it sure was a project getting everything stashed away, cleaned up, boxed, arranged. The place looks and smells great but it almost seems silly since I'm leaving it. I don't think it even looked this good when I moved in. HA!

#1

It's official, I've finished packing my first box. I think it means that I am actually getting ready to move. I have someone coming tomorrow to look at my apartment. I've moving help lined up...I've got storage arranged...I'm going. It still doesn't seem entirely real but that's okay.
I'm suppose to be going out in an hour, yet I find that instead of getting ready to go out. I'm sitting around in sweats, my hair is a mess and all I wanna do is fantasize about...about...nothing.

Life continues to move and I continue to flow along with it...Brandon's birthday is this week. Yeah for him! Brian got the keys to his house today. Yeah for him!

The guy I have a crush on is being a dick. He's acting like a flippin' 15 year old. Entirely not something I'm into. I know that the whole "does she like me" game is supposedly fun but I say, skip that crap and lets get a move on. He hasn't acted like this for the five or so months we've known each other...yet...he's doing it now. Maybe I should just give up on this one and keep moving...moving on up...to the East side...I think there is a song for every thought or emotion that I've ever had. Go figure!

Boxes

Just when I got all my boxes...well...almost all my boxes, unpacked...I'm going to have to start again. My boxes arrived today and I have so much to get done! I'm thinking that I'll be making a few more trips to good will...so if there's anything you need or want - let me know.
I'm sure tired of moving and the worst part is that when I come home again in six months, I'm going to have to do it all over again! AHHH!!!
_________
So...last night I had a super weird dream...
I went to Nugget Market at 10:06am (no joke - that was the exact time in my dream) and I ordered a vegitarian sandwich with everything on it. Four hours later I was still waiting for my sandwich. So, after getting angry at the clerk I asked she call over her manager. I then gave her a hug and apologized for being mean. The manager then came over and we got in a fight and he kicked me out of the store. BUT AHH!!! In the parking lot there was a guy with a machine gun and I had to try and steal a car to avoid him.

If this dream were to be reviewed, I'm not at all sure what would be found to be the true meaning of any of this! HA!