Many authors understand the pressures and complications that come with being a woman in a patriarchal society. The loss of identity and independence was often a topic of writings during the 19th century, writings which are still revered and discussed today. One author who used her poetry to emphasize the struggles that women faced while trying to find independence within the public sphere was Emily Dickinson. Dickinson’s poems addressed a wide variety of topics and ideas, but one very prominent theme in her poetry was the conflicting feelings and emotions women faced when marrying. In review of Dickinson’s poems numbers 199, 732 and 1072, the theme of loss of identity through marriage is unveiled and examined.
Dickinson’s poem 199 focuses on the death of self upon marriage. The idea that a woman is no longer able to stay true to herself and must become a servant to societal rules is clearly displayed. Poem 199 begins “I’m ‘wife’ – I’ve finished that -/That other state.” This line draws on the woman as independent prior to marriage and defines the woman’s pre-married self as “That other state,” a state of being undefined. In leaving the female undefined before marriage Dickinson is creating a character that in essence does not exist. The idea that an unmarried woman is incomplete and unnoticed is expressed in defining her as the other. Prior to marriage, woman of the 19th century were not responsible for their own business affairs and were often under the charge of older relatives.
Stanza two begins to review the idea of marriage as death. Dickinson expresses in stanza two that through marriage a woman dies as an individual and begins to take on the role of a titled self, a role which no longer allows her to be herself, but requires her to be what others view her as. “Girl” or the undefined other is viewed from heaven during this stanza and seen as an irregularity. During this viewing it is noted “How odd the Girl’s life looks.” The idea that unmarried women during the 19th century (and even today) are viewed as undefined and incomplete is seen as problematic and unnatural within society. A woman who is unmarried must certainly have something wrong with her. In order to be plenary in society a woman must find her place along side a male counterpart. A girl cannot be classified as a woman until she has found a mate, married and thus become complete.
The ending of poem 199 by Dickinson begins to review the ideas of wife as the ultimate end to all for woman. Stanza three draws on the “other” (the undefined self) from stanza one when Dickinson says “That other kind – was pain.” The independent self is viewed as a harsh state of living because woman must struggle against the views of other women and the pressures of society to avoid being labeled a spinster, misfit or oddity. However, Dickinson stops the thoughts from reeling in readers’ minds “But why compare? / I’m ‘Wife’! Stop there!” The idea that wife is enough title to complete and fulfill a woman’s life is used to conclude the poem. The ideas of wife as fulfillment not only concludes the poem but is also symbolically the conclusion of the identity found as an individual.
Dickinson’s poem 732 again addresses the female issues of stopping existence as an individual in order to complete the roles and requirements established by society. Poem 732 begins with “She rose to His Requirement – dropt/ The Playthings of Her Life.” The idea of leaving behind hobbies and joys which are considered menial tasks for the pleasure of waiting on a husband are expressed here. A woman is unable to maintain a life which includes both personal pleasures and completion of household duties. A woman must choose to either be alone or give up that which has defined her thus far in her life. The poem continues “To take the honorable Work / Of Woman, and of Wife.” Women are depicted heroically in leaving little hobbies for the greater good of serving a man. The sarcasm in the verse is clear and the detrimental effects on females who are obligated to marry begin to spin through a reader’s mind. In stanza two, Dickinson begins to explore the lasting effects marriage has, “If ought She missed in Her new Day, / Of Amplitude, or Awe - / Or first Prospective – Or the Gold / In using, wear away.” The heroic female is no longer seen and what is left is the faded glory of marriage, the little tasks which Wife once completed are no longer valued or respected and the beauty which appeared on first prospective has left Wife a dull used toy.
The used toy will quickly begin to irritate and annoy the husband in the household. Wife will quickly lose the grace and acceptance which was first established. Dickinson puts it well when she says “Develop Pearl, and Weed, / But only to Himself – be known / The Fathoms they abide-.” Both a pearl and a weed take time to develop and are very much an irritation. The idea that the husband and the wife both understand and notice the annoyances caused from their relationship but fail to acknowledge these to others is expressed here. The silence of a disappointed marriage is never drawn forth nor addressed in the public sphere and is thus a hidden secret among the married. The idea that both individuals abide by this disturbance causes one to question why anyone would get married.
In poem 732 Dickinson clearly expresses that marriage is detrimental and will eventually lose its novelty and become a mistake. Women who choose to reject the lifestyle of Wife will not fade into the background of a male and will not be forced to live with the developed irritation. The independent woman will never be seen as complete but to herself she will have peace. Poem 199 does not allow a reader to consider life without a male; however, it does not depict life as Wife as being ideal either. Dickinson’s encouragement to discard the social roles created for woman is shown in the ways in which she led her own life. Dickinson’s solitude and independence can be viewed as an idealistic state for most unhappily married women. However, an unmarried reader would most likely have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to spend their life without a companion.
One question that Dickinson raises to help readers question society’s rules is, what might be an ideal life? Dickinson explores the ideas of being a wife to God as a form of ideal living in poem 1072. “Title divine – is mine!” The idea that being a wife to the ultimate of ultimate, as creating a great power and divine joy, is looked at in the first line of this poem. However, quickly Dickinson notices that being a wife to God or being a wife to a human is still an exchange of self in order to serve another. “Betrothed – without the swoon / God sends us Women - / …Garnet to Garnet - / Gold – to Gold - / Born – Bridalled – Shrouded.” The idea that sacrifice comes with all forms of marriage and little is ever returned to the giving woman is explored. In comparing life as a wife to God and a man, Dickinson uses the visions of identical physical elements to express that there is no real difference. Ultimately, Dickinson demonstrates in 1072 that marriage, on earth and in heaven, results in the death of self or shrouding. She then asks readers “Is this – the way?” Readers are encouraged to question the role that the woman plays in society and the roles that marriage play in a women’s life. The path that has been pre-assigned to all females is questioned and in so doing, readers must ask what alternatives there are.
The questions which arise from poems such as those explored above and many others of the 19th century help to inspire woman to rebel against the defined social roles. Women are encouraged to maintain independence at all costs and avoid giving up that which they love and cherish for other individuals. The establishment of a female character outside of the existence of a male helps to solidify views that woman can be independently defined and “girl” can be replaced. Dickinson’s poems number 199, 732 and 1072 express the theme of loss of identity through marriage and can be viewed as early thoughts on feminism.
