Single All The Way Baby

(Aside from the fact that I have a totally awesome boyfriend who stimulates my mind and treats me like I've always wanted...)

Single, a state of mind or an actual thing? Even when I'm in a relationship when I'm asked if I'm single I always feel the pull of "YES!" Being single isn't a negative thing to me, it's something I take great pride in. It screams, I'm happy with who I am and I can support myself without the help of a man.

Here are a few quotes from a short compilation piece on single-ness and a few brief thoughts that come to my mind (Single Sate of the Union, Edited by Diane Mapes):

"Their woman's work always took a back seat to their own."
I want to always be able to put my own career in the forefront. The decisions of where I work and why seems to greatly contribute to my personal happiness and having the ability to work anywhere when I want is something I value very much. Giving that up would be a crying shame!

"Now we're in love. Our idea of a good time is critiquing rough drafts of each other's prose while ordering in sushi at midnight."

"I always have high expectations for email. In the back of my mind, there's an irrational, tiny, monstrous feeling that today might be the day for the email that will change my life."
I feel this way, every time I'm deprived of my computer I get this feeling like what if I'm missing something important. What if there's an email that is life changing? It's not that I'm expecting something, or anything for that matter, but what if?

"I am a professional single woman...an emerging trend of people who prefer to be single rather than settle."
I think this explains why I'm single. I'm single because I'm not going to settle for anyone or anything that is less than all I want and need. I'm single because I've made a conscious decision to care about myself and my happiness and I'm not going to fill a mythical void just to satisfy a quota.

"A first date must end with a kiss. If not, it's just an appointment."
We all know the deal here, the constant confusion of is it a date or not?

"To answer your (unspoken) questions: No, I haven't met anyone lately. I haven't been on any dates, and there's no one 'special' in my life that I'm holding out on you. Of course I want to meet someone. Naturally, I'm making efforts to put myself out there. And no, I'm not being stubborn or holding my standards unreasonably high. Yes, I want a life partner. Yes, I want to meet someone and fall madly, deeply, truly in love. And yes, I know my clock is ticking, and that does make me nervous. So there you have it. It's that straightforward."

"Yes, I have moments of uncertainty, but I'm not becoming that crazy cat lady."

"The notion that marriage is the most important piece of a woman's destiny...before you could be a partner, you had to become your own person."
This is so often missed or overlooked. Be yourself first and worry about the rest later.

"First of all, unless you're dating a midget, man stuff is huge."
This is so true. Just a few little items of is can take up your entire apartment and throw everything out of order.

"I cry anew, now because I am drunk and also so thankful that I have friends who will mix me cocktails and promise to leave their cell phones on all night when I am at my lowest."
My friends are everything to me. They always make me smile and they never fail to lift my spirits.

"If you're really unlucky, they'll ask you to recite a poem at their wedding. That's just what i want to do - monitor my drinking until I'm done with my public service announcement."
Ha! Please, please don't ask me to speak at your wedding. We all know that I like my drinks and that I hate poetry!

"I want to continue to have sexual adventures, but with someone by my side, someone who can experience them with me and enhance that experience."
This makes me feel at ease. I completely agree. Although adventures are always nice, it's never as nice as doing something with someone who truly matters.

"I never feel like I want to go to sleep after fucking him. I feel like I want to hump the furniture."

"I can always just pick up and go. I like it like this."
The lack of clutter in my life allows me to feel free to do what I want, when I want and with who I choose. I like this and I don't know if I'll ever be able to sacrifice this feeling.

"Fear of desertion comes with the territory of loving someone."
Here I thought it was just some weird thing that was wrong with me.

"One of the challenges of marriage is to learn how to live with a person and integrate that person into your life."
Sometimes you have to stop and wonder if adding someone new changes things. It doesn't have to. You can have it all, you just have to understand yourself enough to balance it.

"Nothing can match the peacefulness that comes from knowing that I am solely responsible for the life I create, and that with each passing year I seem to be closer to 'getting it right'."

"I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor...who will hold back my hair when I puke."

Call me crazy...but the wisdom that comes with being single is unmatched by anything else in the world.

Cruelty Case

Okay so Pepe...this dog was making my heart bleed, I wasn't sure if I could take him in and financially make it work but I just couldn't see this little guy put down... so I bit the bullet and figured I could use my Christmas bonus from my boss if I had to. Then - out of no where I'm getting emails about him. A woman who is adopting one of the puppies just donated $50 and a foster emailed me about donating $50. It's like when I think man kind is evil and there is no hope at all, I'm shown a light...amazing!!!

Gay American

Sexuality is so vastly complex and compelling, an unavoidable part of being a human animal, and yet shrouded in mystery. Sexuality is an interplay of desire and denial, fantasy and reality with a complex physical and biological template tangled with an equally complicated cultural overlay.[1]

“The Sotadic Zone” by Sir Richard Burton proposes the idea that homosexuality is not racial, genetic or moral based and that homosexuality is actually a geographic result. “The Sotadic Zone” argues that within this geographical area of the world (including all of North America), the gender differences between men and women are fewer and this results in a confusion of sexuality among the masses and ultimately leads to an increase in the number of individual who are homosexual.
Burton argues that “within the Sotadic Zone there is a blending of the masculine and feminine temperaments, a crasis which elsewhere occurs only sporadically” (204). This argument is used to say that homosexuality is more concentrated in areas of the Sotadic zone. Burton’s ideas of sexuality are drastically different from those we have seen up unto this time period. Burton’s idea of sexuality as a geographic result instead of an innate feature of gender, as previously believed, creates a new idea surrounding how one comes to their own sexual identity. Burton’s theory would assume that being born and raise in a specific area of the world would make you more or less likely to be homosexual. Although this is not the modern conclusion, it does hold true in part.
Sheri Winston in “A New Paradigm For Our Times” states that sexual identity is, in part, a result of the cultural overlay one is exposed to. This idea is similar to Burton’s understanding of sexuality as geographic area greatly contributes to the cultural experience of an individual. Burton’s forward thinking ideas help to move individual away from the focus on gender as the sole reasoning behind sexuality and more towards the modern belief of sexuality through a combination of experiences and genetic influences.

[1] Winston, Sheri. “A New Paradigm For Our Times.” Wholistic Sexuality. 2003: 105-117.

Just Another Crazy Day

So, life has now begun to again require a blog. A space to put my thoughts on "paper" and a place to reconsider those crazy thoughts.
Today has been all around odd. It all began around lunch time when I decided to run to the bank. On my way I ever so kindly turned on my car blinker and attempted to change lanes. However, the individual in the spot I wanted didn't want to let me in, so I of course forced my way in. He then proceeded to follow me to the stop light where he decided he'd like to fight me. No joke! He, a white male in his late twenties was going to start a physical fight with me, a small girl in her early twenties who just needed to change lanes and didn't intend to make anyone upset. He rolled down his window and honked, he raised his fists, rolled down his window and began to pound on his chest like Tarzan. Following this brief but rather stunning encounter I then ventured to the great almighty Subway for lunch...and to my shock and dismay - Subway was "out of white bread."
This is clearly a day where I should stop, drop everything and return to bed. But, being the dare devil that I am, I decide to continue my ventures. I return to work and begin to check my emails. Bad idea! I had emailed an individual the prior day starting that I didn't feel my dog rescue had a place for the dog he was hoping to surrender. This individual had decided to email me back. Normally I would get a kind thank you and a suggestion of where to continue the search for a rescue group that might take the dog. But not on this day, this day was something straight out of a comic book...he had decided (are you noticing a trend here - another male, I wonder why I'm a feminist?) to write me back and state "Oh well, if you won't take the dog that's fine. I own a pistol."
Where's the trash can? I need to vomit!