Have you ever been cheated on? For the last seven years I believed whole heartedly that I had been. When it had first happened, I was devistated and felt like the world had ended. Eventually, Fernando and I agreed that we could move past it. The thing was, I couldn't. I continued to internally hate him for what I thought he had done to me. I ruined us slowly, as a way of hating him and as a way of hating myself for what had happened.
Back to modern day. My boyfriend was texting his ex and when I asked about it...he lied. Why? Why do you think? The situation screams cheater. But...the issue isn't him. The issue is me and that fact that I absolutely can't deal with lying.
I have worked very hard on my overall health and feeling healthy from the inside out. Although I've always know that the Fernando situation had taken a very big toll on my ability to trust whole-hearted. I thought I was making great steps towards building a relationships that was honest, strong and healthy. After this little incident I realized that I have a lot of personal healing left to do. A little lie (as I keep telling myself it was...and it may very well have been), has brought up some very tough and old scars that although I don't want to deal with...I know that I am finally at a point in my life that I am ready to deal with them.
Oh, and I did I mention that Fernando never actually cheated on me.
