Room 437

Today was the big day...really big in my opinion...I wasd invited to lobby for some animal rights actions at the capitol today and I'm excited to anounce that I went!!! The action started in room 437. That's what you're looking at below. Isn't it gorgeous? Well, we discussed the bills we were going to lobby about, the pros and cons and then started the action. First was an individual from Rep. Cox's office. Let me say clearly that it didn't go well...at all!!
I, personally, have a major fear of confrontation but the person I was with definitely didn't. She called him "rude" and asked him "do you work for me or not?" It was a rather bad situation and I actually came out looking like the calm, cool, collected one. HA! I had always thought I was combative, but I'm not! Let me tell you, I've seen combative and it's not me!!!

Anyway, after that I went off to lobby appointments on my own and it was wonderful! I got to talk about a few very important legislative issues:
1- The famous AB 1634 which is also known as the "spay/neuter act".
2- The upcoming bill entitled "Great Apes in Entertainment." This bill makes it illegal to train or use apes in entertainment throughout the state (apes being gorillas, bonobos, chimps and organutangs. Did you know that there are only 4 trainers for these animals in all the U.S. and 3 live in Cali? We talked about the horribly gross training methods used for training monkeys and apes in this industry and then got to push the fact that this legislation really needs more backing.
3- The upcoming bill entitled "Dog Fighting Spectators Bill." This is a change in the prosection of individuals who knowingly partake in dog fighting. It would change the law to make this a felony.

Lastly, the direct to ballot issue which I am currently collection signatures for. I have petitions if anyone needs to sign one - let me know, I'll even drive to you, we need everyone's help!! This issue addresses "Farm Animals" and mandates that individual who use animals for farming use cages for chickens, pigs and veal that are no smaller than would allow the animal to stand up, sit down, turn around and stretch its limbs/wings. Pretty basic stuff you'd think...

I'm excited that I got to go out today and really stalk about my passion on these issues. I feel like I made a difference and I'm certainly planning to do more lobbying in the near future!!

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On a slightly different note, while at the Capitol today...I got asked on a date which I said yes to. This guy may be too good to be true. We had lunch and it was good, we chatted, talked, walked...the jazz. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket but I certainly see potential with this one. Oh...and did I mention that he's a secret service agent!

The Good Things We See In Others

In (of course) a written correspondence with a good friend of mine, he wrote:
"Well, well. You've got some major changes going in your life, don't you? Two months without a Midori Sour? That's impressive in its own right, not to mention going off the meds, too. Sounds like somebody might be getting settled into her own skin ... ;)"

I can't say that I thought this on my own. I wouldn't say that I felt "settled" into my own skin but yes, I am becoming more at peace with my reality - I suppose...I do like my skin and feel some what at ease with it.

The no meds, no alcohol, no caffine, and upped exercise has really made a change for me.

First, the no meds. I never thought I'd be in this place in my life. It had always seemed so scary! Although, Kay Jamison did write "pills cannot, do not, ease one back into reality; they only bring one back headlong, careening, and faster than can be endured at times." I felt like this really hit home for me. My medications had become such a concrete part of my own reality that they were beginning to push me in directions that weren't healthy and yet I held fast. Living without them has been hard, coming off them much easier than I had thought...yet...I will confess that since Saturday morning my heart rate has been faster than I'd like and my mind more scattered and fragmented than I'd like. I suppose certain stimuli still create that reaction for me...but, the realization of these facts and the knowledge that I can handle this without medication, without those emergency pills I carry on me...really feels empowering. I'm pill free for one month on Monday!!!! ME!!!

Second, no alcohol and no caffine! I came off both because without the medications I really needed to focus on only putting the good into my body until I am in a place that's firm enough to alter that state. No telling if I'll get there in a month, a year, a decade...but until I find that place and know that I'm not going to be without it under the imfluence of these drugs, I don't think that either of these products are of any use to me. This friend of mine, knew how I used alcohol to relieve my discomfort in an unhealthy way and he's right - this is a rather remarkable thing for me to walk away from. But, I am strong enough in myself and I suppose, settled into my own skin, in a way that allows me to control these emotions without the help of something like alcohol.

I think that the best things in ourselves are the things that others see and we can't. The things that are pushed back into our minds that we don't acknowledge until brought forth by someone in our lives. Those are the things that are fundamentally who we are and those are the things that make each and every individual so unique and precious.

Rethinking Relationships

Do you realize that you are the one giving my words on this screen meaning?

It's amazing and hard to even grasp. But stop and think about this - without those loyal readers out there, my words would go unread and unheard. This blog would be without purpose and meaning, it would be a cavern essentially. You give it meaning.

This works for thoughts too. Without the open expression of my (or yours for that matter) feelings, they don't exist in the real world and they become artificial. In saying them to your friends, family and significant others you are creating something real and meaningful. By taking the chance to ask others to listen and hear you out, you are creating a new (for lack of a better word) "something" in the world, something that did not exist before you brought it forth. AMAZING!

I track how many people read my blog each day and which states they live in. It's not so much the which state thing that matters, it's the how many people are out there, reading what I write and giving my words meaning. To you, my loyal readership - Thank you! This simple gesture of logging on, one you may feel you get something from, gives me something too.


I've been thinking a lot about friendships and relationships in my life lately. I have some great people who surround me and few (yet there are some) less than great individuals. I am grateful beyond words for those in my life who give.

Through some new ideas and suggestions about relationship building I'm going to be experimenting with some new techniques. Primarily, techniques focused on anger and negative feelings. Although odds are you aren't going to actually be the target of these experiments - I want to thank you in advance for your help and support. The individuals in my life at present all have one thing in common - they are all tellers of truth. I have a set of values and morals that I've been thinking about a lot lately, and the word integrity keeps coming up.

What does that word mean? Integrity? To me, one of the key elements of this is truth. Truth can only be established in something that is real and therefore your ability to express yourself is key.


An Ode to Those Who Are Far Better than I:
The Beaver - Thank you for always expressing yourself, for good or bad. When I make you angry, you tell me and we deal with it head on. This makes you one of the strongest men in my life. You never waiver in your understanding of truth and you bring to your life and the lives you encounter a remarkable degree of integrity.
Alena - Thank you for your heart. You have more to give than anyone I have ever met. You are my inspiration when it comes to love and living life to the fullest. You have such a strong understanding of yourself, unlike any one I've ever encountered. You are unique and amazing! Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Melanie - Thank you for always connecting. When I'm scared or alone in the world, I know that you are just a ring away and you will listen to me and you will not judge but will provide constructive criticism. Your understanding of the difference between judgement and helpful communication is an advantage to all close to you.
Christian - Thank you for being my open book. You have such a strong character and an amazing mind. Your openness and ability to share always, regardless of context, situation or fear is beyond words. I hold your openness up to others and even myself and laugh, you are truly one of a kind. May you never see this waiver.
Brandon- Thank you for never expecting of me. The pressure we put on ourselves is plenty enough and you know this better than anyone. You never have expected anything from me. As you say, "I owe you nothing." Thank you for adding this sensibility and promise to my life. Thank you for adapting to whoever I decide to be at any given moment.
Shannon - Thank you for trusting me. I often don't trust myself and you have let me in on some very secret thing over the years. You now share your life with me across the ocean and any time I see you've logged into this blog, I feel so lucky to have your friendship.