Power

I'm really working on understanding, identifying and taking control of power in my life.
Yesterday I made a commanding decision that felt good and was right for me. When told to do something on someone elses time schedule and knowing that I wasn't okay with that, I told someone "no, that really doesn't work for me." Afterwards, instead of feeling guilty - I felt empowered.

Today, I starting thinking about a few other things in my life that hold power and the ways in which I have let go of that power without thinking about it first. I'm stopping that, I'm taking control but not dominating, just trying to find that good solid balance.

I went to Vinyasa Yoga this morning and it kicked my butt. With the medication change up, I'm entirely off balance and spinning. I can't stand on one leg...it's rather comical to watch me attempt Yoga right now. The new medications aren't that strong but that's okay, maybe I can find a balance in my life without the need for something that I can't relinquish.

The Energy We Put Off

Everyone gives off energy in their own way and form. I spoke with someone today about the energy I give off and how that draws individuals into my life who are bad for me. I have set a standard that is not that high and by putting my bar there, I am preventing those who are worthy or above that, from coming into my life. Have you thought about your energy today? What sort of people are you drawing into your life?

I draw people who seek power. Individuals who are without their own power seek out...well...me. This is because I am willing to give up my own power very freely and openly as I don't understand or even recognize it. By ignoring the power I have as an individual, I am drawing those to me who seek control and so...well...I guess I get what I want in the end.

I'm going to work on holding onto my own power and providing energy that does not allow others to gain from my giving. I am going to begin seeking out friends and individuals for relationships who have their own power and can actually offer me something. I don't do that very often. Normally, I seek out those that I can give something to...when really I should be seeking those who can give to me. For example, my last "relationship"...what was being given to me that I didn't first give? Honesty? No. Trust? No. Security? Certainly not. He saw this much clearer than I did and took advantage of all I had to offer. I need to focus on allowing people to earn their place in my life without feeling like that's wrong of me.