At a party on Friday I met a great sparing partner. He seemed to have incredible insight and totally blew my mind to tiny bits on subjects such as Stan, Brandon, and ... others... Although I didn't reflect on his comments immediately (too drunk) or the next day (still too drunk), I did generically start thinking about things and I have figured something out. I need to perform men assessments before progressing with guys. What does that mean? It means that upon meeting a guy of interest I need to step back and take the time to ask him:
1. What are you expecting to get out of this?
2. How long are you gonna be interested in keeping me around?
3. What will happen if either of these changes?
This man assessment sure would make my mind a little more clear.
As for question 1: Example, are you looking for a relationship? a friend? something in the middle? Knowing this up front helps me to assess if I'm interested in the same goal or not.
As for question 2: Example, a guy likes me but I'm not sure if I like him or if I just like making out with him. I toy with myself as to whether I like him or not. I can't figure it out and in my head I keep saying no it's just make out, no, no (a mental process I use to try and make myself not like...umm...most all guys) he loses interest. Then the question is, was it because I wasn't interested? It's believed that this happened recently and my reaction is...simply...grrrr...I'm frustrated with myself for not knowing myself better and expressing that early on. As for question 3: I need to ask this upfront so that I can left that I don't get it guard down. Normally I spend way too much time trying to get "hints" that aren't even there most of the time. Well, if I know that he's going to be honest with me and upfront, I can work on letting myself trust that. I just struggle because I'm extremely honest and when I'm not interested I make it clear and I'm more than happy to say why. Where as most men make excuses and this simply confuses the shit out of me.
Anyway, the assessment should be put into place. Whether it is or not, we'll just have to see...
