I spent last night with Cinnamon who solved my many confusions. Ha!
Apparently, I am in fact ready for a relationship...it just has to be the right one and on my terms. I've gotten pushed around too much for me to feel confident that I can do it again. Ultimately it comes down to that very dirty T word, trust. I have to start trusting in myself more and taking the time to see what it is I want, really want, not just what I say I want at that moment.
As for my confusion over him...well, why fix what's not broken? Great advice right. For some reason I really started to think that maybe I should step up to the plate and make a go at a relationship with him. Cinnamon steered me clear of that. She reminded me that yes, he does in fact keep me sane, not the opposite and for some reason when my mind starts spinning, he's the place that stops it.
Strangely he came over last night and we had a beer. Just hung out and had a drink, chatted it up. It was a little nerve wracking for me since it made me start thinking that maybe we were ready to give a relationship a go. After all, this was more effort than either of us had ever thrown in before. Yet, the ground has been found and I'm okay with where things are, in fact I like them enough to keep them that way.
