I decided to see a therapist, someone who can tell me what is and is not "normal." Since I've been feeling rather insane as of late and could use a maypole right about now.
Anyway, she had some great things to say:
First off, the idea of "good enough." This concept is one that I struggle with. I seek perfection, whether that's possible or not (most often times not). I need to start looking for "good enough" and stop looking for the nasty p word!
Second, I have intrusive thoughts. I just checked Wikipedia and I SO DO! These thoughts are inappropriate and random. They aren't normal and I need to work on getting control over this issue.
Third, I'm not self-centered...it's the opposite. I have trouble accepting. I have a hard time accepting compliments, gifts, emotions, everything! Because I never really feel "good enough," it makes it hard for me to just accept what is presented. I avoid expectations so that I don't have to be dissappointed when they aren't met. I'd rather be the person giving than the one getting. This is a major issue for me and I'm going to work hard, VERY HARD on improving this one.
