I'm working like a demon...can you believe that? Until I get this database under control I have a feeling that my dream of working just a few minimal hours is just that...a dream. I got to get this wild thing under control!!
On different note...I'm reading a new book and I'm totally in love with the author, Deepak Chopra. I'll be posting quotes over the next few days with some short thoughts...as we all know I love to do!
From Deepak Chopra's Book of Secrets:
"you are part of every event that is happening now, has ever happened, or ever will happen."
This is a radical and yet true thought. You are here because of everything that's ever happened in the past and you will influence everything in the future. It's an extreme thought of the butterfly effect.
"Your purpose in life is to help creation to expand and grow."
I agree with this...and I'm not talking about procreation. I'm a firm believer that my purpose on this planet is to make a difference, to make some little thing better and by that, make change for the future.
"If someone asked me how to prove that there is really a mystery of life, the simplest proof would be just this enormous separation between deep reality and everyday existence."
True, true...
"Ever since you and I were born, we've had a constant stream of clues hinting at another world inside ourselves."
To me, this is how I feel God. I don't understand being able to acknowledge this inner stream and think that it is anything other than God.
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Monday, May 5, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Freud's Thoughts on Love
Did you know Freud's view of love? He defines love "as the infinitely complex ways in which the sexual drives of the body are played out in the mind...the very thing we know and don't want to know. Love is the most basic and inescapable way in which I (re)appear."
A quick explanation of what this means:
Freud believes that love is that person who you think of at random throughout your day. You know, when you see a funny commerical and you think - that reminds me of X.
This idea that love is the person who pops into your head randomly is rather interesting. According to Freud, this love steams from the sexual and becomes a concrete part of your thoughts.
If this were true then I would come to the conclusion that love can come and go...although, I personally think that love is unconditional and either I LOVE you or I don't...get it?
My WTF of the day:
Me: "I don't date divorced men, sorry."
Him: "Well, I'm not divorced yet..."
A quick explanation of what this means:
Freud believes that love is that person who you think of at random throughout your day. You know, when you see a funny commerical and you think - that reminds me of X.
This idea that love is the person who pops into your head randomly is rather interesting. According to Freud, this love steams from the sexual and becomes a concrete part of your thoughts.
If this were true then I would come to the conclusion that love can come and go...although, I personally think that love is unconditional and either I LOVE you or I don't...get it?
My WTF of the day:
Me: "I don't date divorced men, sorry."
Him: "Well, I'm not divorced yet..."
Sunday, February 10, 2008
WTF Bitch
For those of you who don't know me that well...I use WTF to express confusion...and that was response to the word:
"fetishistic" - J. Bristow
And the quote:
When talking about salvery he wrote: "That one man could possess, sell or whip another, caused me intense excitement." -Krafft-Ebing
Adding on, my use of the word bitch which some of my dear friends get and those who don't know me don't understand. When I say "bitch" it's a rather nice compliment. It means that I think you have a back bone, you have integrity and you stand up for your ideas. I challenge you to consider yourself a bitch!
When asked a question, the response what "you should do whatever brings you deeper into the reality of your life." That's a great line!!! I'm going to strive to make decisions that bring me deeper into MY life.
___________
Just a reminder...New Family Guy...tonight!!
"fetishistic" - J. Bristow
And the quote:
When talking about salvery he wrote: "That one man could possess, sell or whip another, caused me intense excitement." -Krafft-Ebing
Adding on, my use of the word bitch which some of my dear friends get and those who don't know me don't understand. When I say "bitch" it's a rather nice compliment. It means that I think you have a back bone, you have integrity and you stand up for your ideas. I challenge you to consider yourself a bitch!
When asked a question, the response what "you should do whatever brings you deeper into the reality of your life." That's a great line!!! I'm going to strive to make decisions that bring me deeper into MY life.
___________
Just a reminder...New Family Guy...tonight!!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
My Horoscope
I find my horoscope for the day rather fitting my life over the last month. Wow!
Quickie: Some big walls are coming down today -- and this collapse will reveal new truths.
Overview: Life pushes back a little harder than usual today and that could mean that you've got to take a step back and wait for a better opportunity. You know better than most when to fight and when to walk away.
Quickie: Some big walls are coming down today -- and this collapse will reveal new truths.
Overview: Life pushes back a little harder than usual today and that could mean that you've got to take a step back and wait for a better opportunity. You know better than most when to fight and when to walk away.
Boundaries Continued
More from the new book, Where To Draw The Line:
"In a new relationship, the very first time someone tries to dump their feelings on you, set a boundary. Refuse to engage. Leave the situation."
I've got this one down. I do this!! It recommends that you say
"I can't be with you when you're doing that indirect stuff. If you'll acknowledge your mood and do something to help yourself, I'll be here for you. Otherwise I'm going."
"Never listen to 'you' statements for more than a few minutes."
This is one I always stick around for and I know better. Few people during an argument or conversation decide to look at themselves and it always ends up being about 'you'. I really try very hard not to do this. I try very hard to make sure it's "I feel" and "This makes me feel." The problem here is that so few people know the importance of this conversation style that I have a feeling I'd be walking away from people... a lot!
"Whenever we need to keep from knowing something about ourselves, it costs us in health and energy. This is why amends are as important for ourselves as they are for the other guy."
"If your friend borrows things and doesn't return the, or is not always truthful, or is hot one day and cold the next, be careful about advancing. You deserve friends who are consistent, considerate and thoughtful."
I sometimes overlook these key things in friendships/relationship. Good to take note of and look for.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Boundaries
Okay, so I started the new book Where To Draw The Line. It's good. If you ever wondered what the heck the bazillion guys you've dated were thinking - it's in here. If you ever wondered how you came to make your own decisions or if those were healthy choices...it's in here. Here's what I'm getting:
"When we withdraw ourselves from the possibility of repeating feeling - by walling out certain feelings (or a certain intensity of feeling), or by not allowing ourselves to repeat such trust, need or love again - we take ourselves into a fortress, a defended state of being."
This is known not as a boundary but as a defense. Something I've often encountered and yet I actively fight in my life to avoid this. I try very hard to let go of things that I learned in past relationships that could be considered defensive rather than boundary oriented. The distinguishment between the two is very hard to make for some and easy for others.
"If you are a punctual person and you have a friend who is usually late, think about what you need. Talk to your friend about how you feel, the message you are getting, and what you want."
This is a method I attempt to use a lot in my life. Identifying how I feel, the message I'm getting and what I want. However, I've found that rarely when I express these things do others understand what I'm doing. I'm not asking for anything in return, I'm showing my boundary, I'm identifying it clearly for them. If you're my friend - know that when I do this I'm not being defensive, I'm attempting to show you where I end and you begin and how this relationship impacts both of us.
"If you live alone and stick to your plans no matter what, this can be okay. But if you are some one's mate or parent, then your style has impact on others."
This makes me want to SCREAM!!!! I've addressed this with many people and no one seems to get it. So many (dare I say it) men don't seem to want to rearrange their schedule for their mates. They rarely understand the impact that it has on the other party. Is this a blind spot for them? Or is it a simple lack of caring?
"If you agree to meet someone at a certain time, you are creating a contract with that person. Every minute that you are late uses a portion of the other person's life."
I think this is one of my core values. I feel hurt and betrayed very quickly when someone takes for granted the minutes of my life. I try very hard to keep a schedule that is punctual so that I don't do this to others, I ask for the same respect in return.
"She loved him personally, but she hated what he was doing and saw it as having no value."
Another touchy subject! I believe you can love someone and not like what they do and see what they do with their time as having no value...but at the same time, aren't we taught to accept the person as a whole? How do the two correlate?
"Boundaries can be used in two ways - by limiting the actions of the people who have hurt you, and by including the people who've shown themselves to be trustworthy."
This is hard for me to stand on because I often don't require individual to prove trustworthiness at the level I should. Also, sometimes individual in my life put up what I considered a boundary when in actuality it was defense since a boundary is only used with individual who have actively hurt you or who are not considered trust worthy...and I am!
"You are not required to adjust your life to accommodate a defensive partner. You do not have to let another person's defended state curtail your own experience."
I struggle here, when I see a person who is defensive I work actively to bring down that wall...as if I can!?! Hahaha! Instead, I need to be recognizing the defensive behavior, noting it and adjusting my trust and opinion based on that and open communication about it.
"Notice what isn't said or what isn't done. What isn't said can be a boundary error. Figuring out what's missing can help you spot a manipulation or explain why an exchange seems off kilter."
Another area that I personally struggle in. I feel like identifying what isn't said and what isn't done puts me in a position of assumption (that's such a horrible word and action - the nasty "a" word). Though it does prove true. By not identifying and communicating the feelings of the things that aren't said or done, manipulation and control issues arise.
"Missing the point is a defense of misdirection. While you are talking about the trees, I'm going to pretend that this conversation is about the forest. A clever defender takes a tack that is close enough to fool the initiator into thinking that the real issue is being addressed."
Damn it! I fell for this one really bad in my last relationship. I would say that I was angry about something and he would make it about the bigger pictures. I would go along with it and get fooled! For example there was this girl that I didn't like him being around. He therefore made it that I didn't like him around ALL single gals...not my issue, any yet I got fooled. Very sneaky and clever defense. Being aware of this I will certainly be able to identify and take power over situations such as these next time.
"The defense of attacking is continued, while bringing up an old argument that, undoubtedly, has been argued many times before. Getting a partner into a tried-and-true prior argument is in itself a good defense."
This is the most aggravating thing on earth! Once an issue has been addressed and talked about. Either you are satisfied with the conclusion or not. Either you move on...or not. Don't move on and thing bring it up again later. That's crazy-making!
"Here is a multiple defense...She is portraying him as being out of line when he is behaving naturally given the circumstances. She is also overstating his true and natural feeling."
Wow! Just when I think maybe I was crazy about x issue or y issue...this author points out that I was entirely grounded in my thinking.
More quotes:
"When we overstate how someone is behaving, that is a defense. The person is mirrored incorrectly, which can throw them off and make them feel wrong."
"We are geniuses at survival. Whatever is inside us that leads to an experience of pain, betrayal, or abandonment, we can lock away."
"If we don't act on our own behalf, we will lose spirit, resourcefulness, energy, health, perspective and resilience. We must take ourselves out of violating situations for the sake of our wholeness."
"When we withdraw ourselves from the possibility of repeating feeling - by walling out certain feelings (or a certain intensity of feeling), or by not allowing ourselves to repeat such trust, need or love again - we take ourselves into a fortress, a defended state of being."
This is known not as a boundary but as a defense. Something I've often encountered and yet I actively fight in my life to avoid this. I try very hard to let go of things that I learned in past relationships that could be considered defensive rather than boundary oriented. The distinguishment between the two is very hard to make for some and easy for others.
"If you are a punctual person and you have a friend who is usually late, think about what you need. Talk to your friend about how you feel, the message you are getting, and what you want."
This is a method I attempt to use a lot in my life. Identifying how I feel, the message I'm getting and what I want. However, I've found that rarely when I express these things do others understand what I'm doing. I'm not asking for anything in return, I'm showing my boundary, I'm identifying it clearly for them. If you're my friend - know that when I do this I'm not being defensive, I'm attempting to show you where I end and you begin and how this relationship impacts both of us.
"If you live alone and stick to your plans no matter what, this can be okay. But if you are some one's mate or parent, then your style has impact on others."
This makes me want to SCREAM!!!! I've addressed this with many people and no one seems to get it. So many (dare I say it) men don't seem to want to rearrange their schedule for their mates. They rarely understand the impact that it has on the other party. Is this a blind spot for them? Or is it a simple lack of caring?
"If you agree to meet someone at a certain time, you are creating a contract with that person. Every minute that you are late uses a portion of the other person's life."
I think this is one of my core values. I feel hurt and betrayed very quickly when someone takes for granted the minutes of my life. I try very hard to keep a schedule that is punctual so that I don't do this to others, I ask for the same respect in return.
"She loved him personally, but she hated what he was doing and saw it as having no value."
Another touchy subject! I believe you can love someone and not like what they do and see what they do with their time as having no value...but at the same time, aren't we taught to accept the person as a whole? How do the two correlate?
"Boundaries can be used in two ways - by limiting the actions of the people who have hurt you, and by including the people who've shown themselves to be trustworthy."
This is hard for me to stand on because I often don't require individual to prove trustworthiness at the level I should. Also, sometimes individual in my life put up what I considered a boundary when in actuality it was defense since a boundary is only used with individual who have actively hurt you or who are not considered trust worthy...and I am!
"You are not required to adjust your life to accommodate a defensive partner. You do not have to let another person's defended state curtail your own experience."
I struggle here, when I see a person who is defensive I work actively to bring down that wall...as if I can!?! Hahaha! Instead, I need to be recognizing the defensive behavior, noting it and adjusting my trust and opinion based on that and open communication about it.
"Notice what isn't said or what isn't done. What isn't said can be a boundary error. Figuring out what's missing can help you spot a manipulation or explain why an exchange seems off kilter."
Another area that I personally struggle in. I feel like identifying what isn't said and what isn't done puts me in a position of assumption (that's such a horrible word and action - the nasty "a" word). Though it does prove true. By not identifying and communicating the feelings of the things that aren't said or done, manipulation and control issues arise.
"Missing the point is a defense of misdirection. While you are talking about the trees, I'm going to pretend that this conversation is about the forest. A clever defender takes a tack that is close enough to fool the initiator into thinking that the real issue is being addressed."
Damn it! I fell for this one really bad in my last relationship. I would say that I was angry about something and he would make it about the bigger pictures. I would go along with it and get fooled! For example there was this girl that I didn't like him being around. He therefore made it that I didn't like him around ALL single gals...not my issue, any yet I got fooled. Very sneaky and clever defense. Being aware of this I will certainly be able to identify and take power over situations such as these next time.
"The defense of attacking is continued, while bringing up an old argument that, undoubtedly, has been argued many times before. Getting a partner into a tried-and-true prior argument is in itself a good defense."
This is the most aggravating thing on earth! Once an issue has been addressed and talked about. Either you are satisfied with the conclusion or not. Either you move on...or not. Don't move on and thing bring it up again later. That's crazy-making!
"Here is a multiple defense...She is portraying him as being out of line when he is behaving naturally given the circumstances. She is also overstating his true and natural feeling."
Wow! Just when I think maybe I was crazy about x issue or y issue...this author points out that I was entirely grounded in my thinking.
More quotes:
"When we overstate how someone is behaving, that is a defense. The person is mirrored incorrectly, which can throw them off and make them feel wrong."
"We are geniuses at survival. Whatever is inside us that leads to an experience of pain, betrayal, or abandonment, we can lock away."
"If we don't act on our own behalf, we will lose spirit, resourcefulness, energy, health, perspective and resilience. We must take ourselves out of violating situations for the sake of our wholeness."
Thursday, January 17, 2008
New Quotes and My Thoughts
Some new quotes from Surfacing:
"Curiosity becomes more important to you than peace"
I think this is something I am in constant struggle with. I want to know, I want to know so much and then some...any yet the constant questioning does not allow for peace. My life feels like a constant struggle between what is know-able and what is natural.
"A divorce is like an amputation, you survive but there's less of you."
I've dated two guys now who have been through divorces...both were good at heart...any yet, damaged goods. This quote sums it up well - once you've been divorced you are constantly in a search for something that maybe you never had, something that you feel you can re-gain from not being with that other person. It's a very sad state to be in and I really hope I never get to this. I think I've decided that I'm going to stop dating the divorcee...they don't have as much to give or offer as individuals who haven't had that type of, shall we say - trauma?
"The feelings I expected before but failed to have comes now"
As I learn to live in the moment I'm feeling less and less of this; however, in the past I would say this is pretty common in my relationships with others. I often expect to have a feeling, don't have it, and yet struggle to find it because I know I should have it. Then when all is said and done, the feeling comes...
"Nothing is the same, I don't know the way any more."
This is what I've been feeling for about a month now. I'm starting to figure out the way again, but this one sentence really expresses a state of constant feeling that I'm struggling to comprehend and abolish.
"I like them, I trust them, I can't think of anyone else I like better, but right now I wish they weren't here."
Please tell me I'm not the only person who feels this sometimes!
"Curiosity becomes more important to you than peace"
I think this is something I am in constant struggle with. I want to know, I want to know so much and then some...any yet the constant questioning does not allow for peace. My life feels like a constant struggle between what is know-able and what is natural.
"A divorce is like an amputation, you survive but there's less of you."
I've dated two guys now who have been through divorces...both were good at heart...any yet, damaged goods. This quote sums it up well - once you've been divorced you are constantly in a search for something that maybe you never had, something that you feel you can re-gain from not being with that other person. It's a very sad state to be in and I really hope I never get to this. I think I've decided that I'm going to stop dating the divorcee...they don't have as much to give or offer as individuals who haven't had that type of, shall we say - trauma?
"The feelings I expected before but failed to have comes now"
As I learn to live in the moment I'm feeling less and less of this; however, in the past I would say this is pretty common in my relationships with others. I often expect to have a feeling, don't have it, and yet struggle to find it because I know I should have it. Then when all is said and done, the feeling comes...
"Nothing is the same, I don't know the way any more."
This is what I've been feeling for about a month now. I'm starting to figure out the way again, but this one sentence really expresses a state of constant feeling that I'm struggling to comprehend and abolish.
"I like them, I trust them, I can't think of anyone else I like better, but right now I wish they weren't here."
Please tell me I'm not the only person who feels this sometimes!
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