More from the new book, Where To Draw The Line:
"In a new relationship, the very first time someone tries to dump their feelings on you, set a boundary. Refuse to engage. Leave the situation."
I've got this one down. I do this!! It recommends that you say
"I can't be with you when you're doing that indirect stuff. If you'll acknowledge your mood and do something to help yourself, I'll be here for you. Otherwise I'm going."
"Never listen to 'you' statements for more than a few minutes."
This is one I always stick around for and I know better. Few people during an argument or conversation decide to look at themselves and it always ends up being about 'you'. I really try very hard not to do this. I try very hard to make sure it's "I feel" and "This makes me feel." The problem here is that so few people know the importance of this conversation style that I have a feeling I'd be walking away from people... a lot!
"Whenever we need to keep from knowing something about ourselves, it costs us in health and energy. This is why amends are as important for ourselves as they are for the other guy."
"If your friend borrows things and doesn't return the, or is not always truthful, or is hot one day and cold the next, be careful about advancing. You deserve friends who are consistent, considerate and thoughtful."
I sometimes overlook these key things in friendships/relationship. Good to take note of and look for.
