He's so good to me. He's kind, he's giving, he knows how to receive, we uniformally click...but it's not right.
I firmly believe that loving someone is a choice we make. We decide if they are worthy and then we expect them as they are or we cast them off. We take those things that we know to be flaws in another person and we make the effort to ignore them. We make the decision to love.
I was told the other day, if all you can say is that he's fun to hang out with, then he's not good enough. It's true. If you're in a relationship with someone and all you can think of is that they are a body to fill an empty space, then it's not right. A relationship should have an inner right-ness. You should feel butterflies when you think of the person's face. Your heart should race when you imagine them calling. The idea of not having them in your life should hurt! If it doesn't, it's not right.
If you know someone who makes you feel this inner-rightness, don't let them go! Make the choice to love them!
Today someone told me that they really cared for someone and they dumped them because they couldn't change the person and the person didn't want to change. I wanted to strangle this individual. We don't have to change anyone, you need to be able to look within your self and understand that no one is perfect, if you care for someone, make the choice to care for all of them, not just certain parts. So you don't like it when they make you jealous, get over it! So you don't like when the expect something from you, get over it!! When you enter a relationship with someone you are committing to give a shit. You are saying "I want to learn your flaws and I want to learn to love them."
Cinnamon told me once that I was in a relationship that ended because the guy decided he couldn't be all that I deserved - he wasn't able to be that and he was doing me a favor by letting me go. I was ANGRY! Angry at myself and angry at him. I was furious and to some degree still get angry when I think about it. When I make the decision to be in a relationship with someone, I'm saying that I'm going to give you 110% and all I'm asking in return is that you give me your all - if that's 15%...fine! Cinnamon told me that this guy was giving his 110% but he couldn't keep it up and the disappointment of letting me down was too great.
I get it, in a relationship we can disappoint ourselves and we can disappoint others. I've done both and I expect that you have too. I expect you to disappoint. I expect to disappointment myself (and you at times). What is done with that disappointment is what makes all the difference. If you love me, you'll teach me, you'll take my flaws and you'll accept them but you'll also know that I want to please you and with your help we can find a common ground.
I'm going to choose to love you. You may not think you deserve it or can live up to that...but I'm going to because love isn't a feeling or an emotion, it's a choice!
