So, in response to an email I sent...my "On Divorced Men" friend about running into the ex and yet not really running into him - how it affected me, what I felt, what I didn't feel, and how I'm thinking about it all...he wrote the following email (my comments to his letter in the blue)...:
As twisted as this might sound at first, it's actually good for you to be somewhat freaking out after seeing your ex with another woman. This means you're actually allowing yourself to feel emotion! Gasp! I'm not sure you've ever allowed yourself to do this. He knows me well...as he took note of and I've come to realize, this ex was the first guy I've had feelings for in over five years. It's sad to me to think that I'm not capable of feeling those emotions more regularly and yet...I feel lucky to have felt them at all, even if it was super short lived. It gives me hope that in the future I'll feel it again and maybe sometime down the road, it will be right and real and...yes...that scary word...LOVE. Mind you I've only said "I love you" in that way to one man in my entire life. I won't say it if I don't mean it.
