I'm not asking you to love me. I'm asking you to recognize my love.
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Babe was so cute today. (Yes, I'm actually going to start talking about him on a first name basis as Babe...hahaha!). He's pushing his...cause?...Hahaha! He has a small flock of girls that are madly in love with him, to them - all I can say is "Tough, he's mine." I know that he feels mutually and for some reason it feels like a worry free thing (I'm just hoping that it doesn't change and become something where I feel pressured or he feels pressured).
My mother is upset that I'm even bothering to date right now since I'm preparing to leave. She's afraid that a guy will make me change my plans. I've told her that ... NO... ha! I'm going! Babe is a great guy and he's SO smart and we have great conversations about things that actually matter and not just paintings, photos, and politics. Things that shape (does that make sense?)...but at the same time, I'm going away for 6 months and when I come back if he's still around - GREAT, I'll be thrilled...but if he's not...then I'll fine with that. He'll be a part of my life in any fashion, he's becoming a closer friend and he's making an impact on my present which will hold firm into my future.
Have you heard the saying "You cannot see the world steadily and see it whole"? I think this is where I'm at right now.
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Have you ever known someone and found yourself asking the question - could I love you for your mind? Someone who is smart and funny and great but isn't what turns you on? I'm not saying that's what Babe is...but...I suppose just thinking that is whole betrayal of the present in sorts. I suppose I should just embrace what comes and test it. Perhaps every case will be different, if not...oh well...at least I was real in the moment.
