Gay Men
I have a dear friend who was dating this guy for about a year, they broke up in December. It turned out that he was gay. I'm not angry that he found this out about himself, but I'm bothered by the way he went about dealing with it while continuing to see her. It has clearly been a frustrating and upsetting experience for her. She cared for him very much and even now, after all he's put her through, she continues to. Why is it that we (women) form these bonds with men who are clearly not healthy for us? Why is it that this particular individual felt that it was okay to drag this girl into his self exploration?
People are not experiments. If you're trying to find something better for yourself, whether it is sexually, spiritually or emotionally, make it a personal endeavour and be aware of how your life is affecting those around you.
Tattoos
I have another dear friend, lets call her Bart (because it's easier to type than Huey, Dewey or Louey). Bart had three tattoos, of which only one is visible on her leg. She recently got a fourth (a tattoo that I really like, but that's beside the point). In talking with Cinnamon about my fathers reaction, which was "Why doesn't she just wear a sign that says 'LOOK AT ME'?" I have a total conflict of self over the idea of tattoos. I hate them in a way...I think that they taint the body. I think that by getting a tattoo there is essentially less of you for me to see. It's like wearing a piece of cloth at all times. Yet, at the same time, I have one and I like some of them...yet, in a lover or a close friend - I'd rather see your flesh.
Anyway, Cinnamon informed me that any number of tattoos over six is clinicially defined as self-mutilation. Did you know that? So, I then was extremely curious and started researching the topic. I've found that I think I agree. Yes, these people aren't doing it with the knowledge that they hate their bodies - most of them think that they are creating art or adding something cute. But, ultimately the result is the same as cutting. In my research, everything I find says that my father is right - YIKES! The idea of self mutilation is that it is a coping mechanism for something else. Anyway, the clinical data on this stuff is really interested and I recommend you check it out. I've pointed Bart in that direction as I want to make sure that she's aware of the clinical side of these ideas...whether she agrees or chooses to stop...that's entirely different as most people who do this type of thing are 150% unaware of just what they really are doing.
